This cat needs to get a job. This cat needs to get one of those jobs that Americans aren't willing to do, like neurosurgery or automobile manufacturing, construction, anything but lay around the house all day, snack, play video games and take naps.

But it's always the same excuse. "I have no thumbs!" I will concede that thumbs are needed for many occupations, but how about sheep herding? I think with a little training, good old-fashioned resourcefulness and encouragement, a cat could make a good sheep herder.

Therefore, I have formed the Cat Herders of America Corporation, and I am now recruiting all able-bodied cats to sign up at www.catherdersofamerica.com. Please remit only $985.00 to register. Thank you for your support.